I've been gone a long time.

 I did not realize how long I'd been away from this blog until today. So, here are some updates and shifts in focus. 

In 2014, the time of my last post, I took a new job that kept me incredibly busy and stopped a lot of my "hobbies" which I believe are more than hobbies, but important creative and emotional outlets. Making creative things with my hands is calming and energizing at the same time. It focuses my attention and energy and lets my brain relax and focus on things other than work. 

What has happened since 2014? 

While working full-time, I returned to school and earned a dual-focus master's degree in Higher Education Administration and Teaching College English. Yes. I took full-time classes while working full-time in a demanding job as a higher education grant writer. 

In the process, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was triple positive, meaning that HER2, estrogen, and progesterone spurred the tumor growth. This is moderately aggressive. Worse than just hormone positive, but not as bad as triple negative, and we caught my cancer early. I survived 6 chemotherapy treatments and 17 infusions for the HER2 positive. My nurses and doctor say I had every terrible side effect. I almost needed a blood transfusion, and I still can not smell anything. I don't think that is coming back, which really stinks (pardon my pun) for a foodie. The inability to smell has ruined my ability to taste food. I cannot taste green herbs or garlic. That means pesto. Rosemary. Oregano. I have eaten raw garlic. Nothing. I've adjusted, but it has taken time to come to terms with this loss. I am grateful to be alive, but I feel the losses. 

Other side effects of chemotherapy and hormone-blocking medications - I have gained so much weight. I was not thin, but now I am obese. Again, I am happy to be alive. But, the side effects of obesity are persistent and horrible gerd - I even wake up in the middle of the night to throw up from the acid reflux. I have dysphagia - sometimes food gets stuck in my esophagus, and I throw up. I am a vegetarian and eat a healthy diet, but I continue to gain weight. That's what happens with Arimidex, and I have seven years to go before I stop taking it. In addition, I tested positive for a genetic anomaly that increases my risk of several cancers, including breast cancer, so I will stay under surveillance forever. Yay me!

When I started to recover from chemo-brain and was finally able to function up to my mental standards, COVID hit and I lost my job. My husband is disabled, so I have been the main support of our family for a long time. Needless to say, this was difficult. I'm still a little bitter about being laid off because I need health insurance, but I love teaching college composition, which is what I've been doing since COVID-19. The problem with higher education is most institutions are only hiring adjuncts - which is a part-time gig. This means they do not have to pay benefits. As a result, I am teaching more than full-time, and barely making ends meet. Last semester, I taught 23 - that's right - 23 credit hours. I was exhausted. Full-time professors teach 12 - 15 credit hours, and they get full benefits. I had to cobble together part-time work from three institutions and still did not replace my full-time salary.  Am I complaining about that? A little bit. But mostly, I'm just stating facts. And I echo the reality of what so many people are experiencing today. It is not just me. Americans are struggling. 

So, this may sound like a whining, boo-hoo, my life sucks post, but I really do not intend it that way. This is just a bit of my journey. It is part of what has made me who I am today. Moving forward, I will share about my experiences as a teacher, a reader, a crafter, a cancer survivor, and a victim of domestic violence. But more on that later.